2014 Retro Cereal Boxes: Count Chocula!

Monster Creal 2014!
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The clear cut leader of the trio has always been Count Chocula. While the other cereals are enjoyable from time to time... The Count was honestly the only one that you could make a case for eating year round and not getting completely sick of after a few weeks.

Retro themed packaging is nothing new, Target has been doing this for years. It lessens a bit of the punch when this is like the fourth or fifth year in a row now that we have seen these retro styled boxes. But holy shit in a handbasket, it is still mindblowing that we can purchase them in 2014.

This look almost exactly like the original Count Chocula box, too. With the exception of some extra nutritional information that nobody gave a shit about back in the day because we were all smart enough to understand that a fucking cartoon Dracula probably wasn't selling health food.

The real stinger is what can be found on the back of the package. CUT-OUT CHOCULA MASKS!

Monster Cereal 2014!
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Yep. This is how you get me to purchase essentially the same retro styled box that I already have in my collection (yes, I have a collection). Blessed be thy' cardboard Count Chocula mask, the lord and savior of our 2014 Halloween Season. You've no idea how thankful I am for your arrival.

I am tempted. So very, very tempted to cut open the back of this box and parade around in a cardboard Count Chocula mask for the whole world to see. But the inner hoarder says that it is already bad enough that I've opened the box to eat the goddamn cereal inside of it... I simply cannot cut the rest of it into pieces for the sake of this article.

Which is alright. I am not entirely convinced that mask is meant to fit a human face, child or otherwise. Perhaps if you have a small breed of dog you could correctly fit it on... otherwise I think the rest of us humans are screwed.

I am fine with this. The fact that it even exists is the coolest thing on the face of the planet. We don't need to actually wear the mask for it to be great. It is great just for simply existing.

Tomorrow we cover Count Chocula's brother from another mother, Frankenberry! Stay tuned, creepers!


  1. Was so glad they took this a step further this year and added the mask. The comic on the back of the boxes last year was alright, but it took away from the retro vibe. Kinda wish we got Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy masks too, but we can't have everything we want ;)

    1. My fingers are crossed that maybe next year we will see something from Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy again. But I do kind of like the fact that they feel like actual "Limited Edition" items. Makes there appearances extra special!


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