Tuesday, September 23, 2014

2014 Halloween Lunchables with GHOUL-AID JAMMERS!


2014 Halloween Candy!
Click for Larger Image!
I think this mummy needs some serious dental work. Pretty much every tooth appears to be cracked or chipped. Perhaps it is from eating the absolutely disgusting chips and salsa sealed inside his cardboard stomach.

Ughhh. I will freely admit that I have never been a "Lunchable Guy". The food has always struck me as the absolute lowest quality crap imaginable but... how could I pass up a package design as spooky as this?

Hint: I could not.

I love it when companies such as Oscar Mayer decide to dress up for the Halloween Season. Take one look at this Chip Toothed Mummy, and you cannot mistake it for anything other than Halloween.

It is not fall. It is not harvest. None of that bullshit. This is Halloween and because of that association you are free to use it as a centerpiece on your Pagan Alter. #PrayToTheLunchGods

2014 Halloween Candy!
Click for Larger Image!
Inside is just as creepy as the outside. This stuff is technically edible, though I'm not sure I would suggest it. The chips are stale and the cheese tastes like the lost hopes and dreams of an entire generation of children.

One big positive is the inclusion of motherfucking GHOUL-AID JAMMERS! Nevermind that chip and salsa bullshit, you are buying this for essentially three reasons:

-- The Package
-- The GHOUL-AID
-- That Chocolate Witch (we'll get to her in a second)

Feel free to toss the rest of it in the trash. The star of the show is Ghoul-Aid, and rightfully so. I feel like everyone is starting to take for granted the fact that Ghoul-Aid currently exists. Just a few short years ago its return was the hot ticket item for that Halloween Season.

Now that everyone is used to it, it does not seem to pack as much punch as it once did. Guys... GHOUL-AID IS STILL THE MOST AMAZING THING YOU WILL PURCHASE THIS YEAR! And don't you forget it.

And then we have that chocolate witch, she showed up in last years model too... but that one didn't feature Mr. Chipped Tooth Mummy on the cover so it is totally alright for me to write about this shit again. She was quietly pretty awesome back then and guess what... she's still pretty radical right now.

Halloween Lunchables are what they are, the food is sort of trashy but... I don't know isn't that sort of technically the point of the Halloween Season? Sort of trashy, kind of cheesy stuff that gets elevated to superstar status because of its association with The Great Pumpkin.

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  2. I wonder if they're selling the Ghoul-Aid jammers separately like they did last year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I seen a big display of them at Wal-Mart today. I suggest stocking up early and often on the Ghoul-Aid!

      Delete
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