Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Vanilla Pepsi-Cola: New for 2014!

Vanilla Pepsi
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A new combatant has entered the arena and is ready to challenge for the title of Best New Summer Beverage of 2014. Behold Vanilla Pepsi-Cola! Releasing for a "limited time only" this summer season!

... actually "new" is a bit of a stretch for this one. It is more like the return of a formally discontinued flavor of Pepsi. The original Vanilla Pepsi hit back in 2003, during that brief period of time when vanilla was being added to literally every soft drink imaginable.

My mind seems to point to this fad starting around the Christmas Season, which makes the return of Vanilla Pepsi in the midst of the summer months seem just a little strange at first. But once you dive past that little nugget of information, which probably really only bothers me and absolutely nobody else on the face of the planet, you are left with a drink that actually works increasingly well as a summertime beverage.

At some point the original version of Vanilla Pepsi was discontinued and everyone sort of moved on from vanilla themed drinks. Coke probably still sells its variation someplace but that is only because Coke never seems to discontinue anything. Just shove it into twelve pack containers and hide them off in a dark corner someplace. Nobody buys them except your grandmother and even then, it could just be leftover soda from eight years ago.

Vanilla Pepsi has made a comeback this year to not much fanfare or flair. I am here to correct this. I absolutely 100% love this junk. And I've drank an unhealthy amount of it while writing this article.

To the point that I am pretty sure my gravestone will dictate that I shorted my lifespan by five years: "due to drinking to much Vanilla Pepsi-Cola"

So the new version of this soda is made with real sugar. As opposed to whatever bullshit sugar substitute Pepsi is typically made with these days. You know times are rough when sugar is touted as a healthy alternative.

Overall whatever they have done to the flavor is clearly a winning combination. The vanilla seems to have been dialed back from 'punch you in the fucking face' levels of intensity and reeled more towards 'Bob Ross Happy Trees Vanilla.'

I've literally no idea what that last statement is supposed to mean.

I don't really know how to end this article either. Therefore, Vanilla Ice:


word to your mother

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