Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The (Best) Worst Metal Video Ever! Star & Dagger's IN MY BLOOD

I get distracted. Like really, really easily. It is why occasionally when I go to write a post it'll end up with like eight introduction paragraphs that don't really relate to the rest of the subject.

Distractions.

Like just now. I was planning on writing a quick post about something related to the fall season and decided that I needed some background music. I chose White Zombie's: Astro-Creep 2000  album due in large part because my playlist was at the bottom and scrolling upwards, it was the first band that I really felt like listing to.

Plus... they are sort of Halloween-ish and fit the the mood I was trying to achieve. But then I got distracted waiting for a photo to upload. And wondered whatever happened to Sean Yseult? You know the female bass player from White Zombie.

As it turns out Sean has continued to stay active within the music industry, even forming a new band called Star & Dagger! Which is like an instant score for me. This is how I've discovered a good bulk of the music that I listen to. Looking up someone from one band and finding out they are somehow connected to another band and then giving the new group a listen.

Before ever clicking on a single Star & Dagger track I knew that there would be like a 50% chance that they would be absolutely awful. Because that is always how this sort of shit works. Either the band is immediately great and you wonder how you've managed to go this long without previously listing to them (Tim Skold anyone?) ... or its just so downright bad that you instantly close the FireFox tab and pretend this side adventure never happened.

And if Star & Dagger was just flat out bad we wouldn't be here right now. Completely distracted from the post that I originally set out to type.

And for all I know Star & Dagger could have some really good gems floating around out there that I simply have not found yet. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt when I've got more time.

Right now we've got to talk about the bands music video for the single In My Blood. It is one of those things that I am quite frankly not sure why it exists but holy shit am I ever glad that I found it.

Ladies and gentlemen what you are about to witness is a tribute of sorts to Stanley Kubrick’s "The Shining" ... if Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" was shot on a $500 budget and stared some band that nobody has ever heard of.


Above is the full video. In all its low budget glory. Below you'll find a few of my personal favorite moments and observations from Star & Dagger's magnum opus of music videos.

And I want to do a quick prerequisite here. I am not necessarily trashing the band. Or the bands attempt to create something. That does not seem... right. They tried. They had an idea and they executed it as best as they could and I'll never knock anyone for trying to make a living doing what they want to do.

Besides, this video has a certain amount of charm to it that can only be captured by someone who cares ... and has absolutely no idea what they are doing at the exact same time. This is Ed Wood syndrome personified. And I could not be happier that it exists.

The Shining

Obvious Green Screen Is... Obvious: Do you know what the great thing about green screens are? When used correctly you can add in (or remove) parts of a frame and achieve effects that would otherwise be impossible. You can put actors in locations they are not, build fantasy worlds that don't exist, and create movie monsters that defy the human physique.

... that is of course assuming you've got the budget to pull it off. If you don't you'll just end up looking like your local Channel Six weather man talking about that low front moving in from Canada. I'll give you guys one guess as to which category this video falls into.

The Shining

These Twins Are Not Really Twins: As a matter of fact I am pretty sure they are not even sisters. Either way they don't even begin to resemble one another. Like, not even close.

So let's forget the fact that in the film these characters are supposed to be children. I will give them a pass on that one. Not finding two people who look kind of close to one another is a strange decision. And it is not even that difficult to find actual twins. I live in a small town in the midwest and I went to school with two sets of them.

So even if you only have a $500 budget surely someone could have posted an ad on Craigs List or something.

The Shining

The Lead Singer Looks Like A Blowup Doll: I'm sorry Lead Singer Lady, on the off chance that you should find this post, but pretty much every close up of you singing makes you look like a novelty blowup doll.

And your eye creeps me the fuck out.

So in a way Stanley Kubrick would probably be proud. In a really weird kind of way.

The Shining

My Personal Favorite Shot of the Video: I can just imagine the meeting between the band and the director of the video. One party selling the other on how awesome of an idea it would be to pay tribute to one of the greatest horror flicks of all time.

And someone comes up with the idea for this scene: "we can have this long shot of the hallway and we'll dress it up with blood splatters all over the walls and carpet. Only get this... instead of bodies we'll have musical instruments in there place! I'll be great!"

"Yea but won't that ruin the instruments?"

(dramatic pause)


"... no I've got... a.... plan for that."

Cut to three weeks and $500 later and you've got two guitars sitting on what appears to be some kind of red painted foil laying haphazardly on the ground.

And I 100% adore this effect. It is fan-fucking-tastic. You can tell that someone tried as hard as they could with absolutely no money to make this shot work... and essentially failed at every step along the way.

But it works. This whole thing works. Like watching a train wreck in slow motion that just so happened to be directed by Ed Wood instead of Stanley Kubrick.

I love this shot and I love this music video and am so glad that I decided to google the chick from White Zombie tonight.

I'll finish my other post tomorrow.

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