Thursday, July 25, 2013
The Best Garage Sale Find Ever!
Earlier today I was sitting at home plunking away on the computer, working towards finishing up an article that I've been writing for the past few days. When suddenly my phone rang.
"You need to come to this garage sale. It's full of skulls and Halloween shit. I'll pick you up in like a minute." It was my friend Mike. Telling me about what would soon become the greatest garage sale find in the history of garage sale finds.
Upon arrival we were greeted by a very nice husband and wife who explained that over the years they had collected to many Halloween decorations and needed to sell off some of the older items to make room for future purchases. Since the words "to many" never enter my vocabulary, I happily obliged and created the pile of stuff you see in the photo above.
On any normal day the box full of bones and skulls would be the highlight of the adventure. And they are a good find. Let's not downplay them one bit. But the real reason why we are gathered here today is because of my new best friend, that fucking awesome demon statue!
The price was an absolute bargain... almost on the verge of being a steal. I feel like I should have spent twice as much on this guy as what I did. But isn't that the point of a garage sale? Good purchases for cheap prices. This is almost a rarity in today's e-bay driven market, in which the cost of anything even remotely considered a collectable typically gets marked up double or triple the price of what its actually worth.
I've decided that this statue isn't your traditional Halloween Prop purchased at local shopping mall. I've dealt with enough of those kinds of items in my time to be able to spot one when I see it. Even the expensive props are pretty cheap in quality. This one clearly isn't.
He's heavy and made from a material that I cannot quite identify. This isn't plastic... but it isn't metal or wood either. Some sort of resin, perhaps? Who knows. What I do know is that it's a hand crafted piece and judging by the looks of it it's clearly haunted.
I dare you to tell me otherwise! I've seen enough of those haunted house programs to know that this is the item some evil spirit latches itself onto and becomes the sacred object that eventually must be removed from the house in order to stop the chaos.
And you know what... that is OK with me. I don't care if its haunted by the souls of seven ancient Indian warriors and cursed by a coven of witches. I'm never getting rid of it! It's going to sit on a shelf someplace from now until the end of time.
This October I will carry it around with me and take creepy photos in the forest. I'll pop out of supermarket isles and frighten small children. Hid in bushes and yell obscene things at the elderly, then blame it on the statue.