Thursday, April 18, 2013

Summer Toys: Growing Dinosaur Egg!



It's been a while since I last wrote an article and for this I apologize. I hate leaving you guys hanging for extended periods of time. I know how often I refresh websites I frequent, waiting for new content to arrive. I'd hate to subject the four people who visit this one to that same sort of torture.

And judging by the fact that the main page is still filled with Christmas content, I'd say you guys have been tormented long enough. It's way past due for some new content and with Summer right around the corner I can think of no better time than now to cover the magic Growing Dinosaur Egg!

Summer Toys
Click for Larger Image!
Yes my friends its once again that time of year in which all those crappy Summer Toys return to store shelves. I love this time of year. Wonderfully bad and almost always generic toys that spring up for a couple months at the start of summer. Nobody wants any of this stuff but every kid always ends up with a toybox half filled with broken pieces and parts from these neglected wonders.

I've always viewed Summer Toys as the strange offshoot of the Christmas Season. These isles tend to shoot up in close to the same area that previously housed gingerbread men and reindeer. Flip the color schemes on these packages and basically everything instantly turns into 'stocking stuffer' material. It gives me an opportunity here in April to talk about items that would loosely qualify as Christmas a few short months back.

Growing Dinosaur Egg. I feel like you guys already know the routine for this one. Fill a bucket with water. Toss in the egg and let it sit overnight while you hum the theme to Jurassic Park. When you wake up the next morning you have some great big squishy toy that you'll spend thirty seconds looking at then toss directly into the trash.

I've covered items like this in the past, specifically this blood hand from a couple Halloween's back. The idea of doing yet another 'growing item' post was almost enough to make me skip this one.

Summer Toys!
Click for Larger Image!
Until I really sat down and thought about it. It's a dinosaur that hatches out of an egg. In the words of the late Huell Howser, that's amazing. And an opportunity that I would regret passing up.

See here is my main beef with this kind of novelty toy. Nine times out of ten you know exactly what you are getting before you ever take it out of the box. Whatever the small item looks like, just imagine that only four times the size and covered in a disgusting slime.

The genius of the Growing Dinosaur Egg lies in that plastic, dissolving egg. Specifically what lies under it. Of which I literally have no idea. Perhaps its a Tyrannosaurs Rex. If we are lucky it could be a Velociraptor. There is no way to know until the damn thing hatches.

Cut to three days later, real time and the results look a little something like this:

Summer Toys!
Click for Larger Image!

Fantastic! If I do say so myself. The damn thing actually did hatch out of the egg. I assumed it would dissolve in the water, sort of like those Trashbag Bunch toys of yesteryear. Nope. Motherfucker stayed solid for a good day and a half before the green guy up above started to slowly poke his nose out of the top of the egg. Don't believe me? I documented this shit like it was an actual dinosaur egg hatching in my living room.

Summer Toys!
Click for Larger Image!

This photograph was taken someplace in the middle of the whole 'hatching' phase. See what I mean, it really did slowly break through the egg.

My only regret is that I was at work when the shell broke in half. I should have used a vacation day. In Jurassic Park John Hammond was present for the birth of every dinosaur and damn it I should have been here for the birth of mine!

In terms of Summer Toys, I think we are off to a hot start. Growing Dinosaur Egg is everything that I had hoped for and so much more. I've got lots more toys to cover but lord knows if they will live up to expectations set forth by this one.

It was also the exact shot in the arm that I needed to get back into writing again. Sometime I just need something kinda stupid and a little corny to get back into the swing of things. This was my thing. I'm officially ready to start scouring every inch of every store for bizarre items that I can classify as Summer!

No comments:

Post a Comment