Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Rose Art Color Blank Figures!

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Craft projects. If there is one re-occuring theme around this place it is that craft projects seem to never quite work out the way they should. When I seen these Rose Art Color Blanks Figures on display at Target for only $9.99, I knew I had to have the set. My mind ran wild with the prospect of an interactive entry for the 2011 Christmas Countdown. Indeed, this was a very spur of the moment decision. It was not until much later when I got the set home and started photographing and unpacking everything in the box that I realized I may have bitten off a little more than I could chew....

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This is the full set. Now can you see why I was so excited when I found these in the store. They just scream to be wrote about and are exactly the kind of material that I like to use to break up the sometimes monotony of the "easier" / "shorter" articles. It was at some point about seventeen photos in when I had all the material spread out in front of me and I was staring at the blank canvas of a miniaturized reindeer that I realized I had to decorate these things. Remembering how this worked out the last time I tackled something like this. I sort of had a mini panic attack. There was no conceivable way that I could use the included twenty two stickers and six magic markers to transform these Color Blanks into anything that resembled presentable.



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This is what the box suggests your Color Blanks could look like. If you had the proper time, the proper supplies, and some sort of natural artistic ability. I had none of those three. I had twenty odd looking goofy stickers, six randomly included markers and all the precision of Michael J. Fox preforming open heart surgery. In other words there was no possible way that I could create anything that even closely resembles those three figures, of which we learn two things from. One, mine will end up looking nothing at all like any of these. And secondly, I got jived by Rose Art for not being able to find the Color Blank of the dude with a box over his head. I want the one with the guy who has a box for a head. Instead we got all of this:

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I am beginning to get a much better understanding of why these only retail for $9.99 ... there isn't a whole hell of a lot included in the box. The stickers are the absolute bare minimum required to decorate either color blank. Very little variety is included here, if you choose to make a female you have one set of eyes and one set of lips to choose from. Some of others, like the scarf, the stripe, and the buttons, only make since to use on the snowman. As for the markers, those are only the most basic colors. Black, green, yellow, red, brown, and blue.

And then there are the instructions. I have a love hate relationship with most instructions, and by love hate... I really don't know what I mean, I hate all instructions. I never read them. At best they get a quick glance. Color Blank figures fall under the category of "things I can figure out on my own at age twenty four without reading instructions" but for the sake of this article, I glanced. They suggested things like waiting for the paint to dry in one area before moving on to the next. As well as purchasing other colors and types of Rose Art paint. I call bullshit on all fronts. These will be made with only the items included and as quickly as possible, drying times be damned. I have some Elder Scrolls Skyrim that needs playing.

So keep that in mind as you look at my figures, that if you buy them and if you spend the adequate amount of time painting them that maybe you can end up with something that more closely resembles the boxes demonstration. Mine... well you will see here in just a minute.

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This is the snowman in his blank format. The possibilities of turning his nose into something that more closely resembles a penis are near endless at this point. I didn't go there because this is Christmas and that sort of behavior is the kind of business that puts you on Santa's Naughty List. Had this been some random entry for some other random holidays countdown, he'd totally have a penis nose.

At this stage in time I would like to point out that snowman here is the second color blank that I... colored. Since snowmen are inherently white he required by far the least amount of coloring and therefore presented the least amount of opportunity for me to completely muck up his design. In retrospect I probably should have dipped my feet into the snowman first and then tackled the much more challenging reindeer secondly. Let's take a look at the results:

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Not bad. For someone who is probably triple the suggested age bracket I would say that snowman turned out alright. Overall I learned a lot of valuable life lessons from the reindeer I colored before this one. Such as not mixing colors as well as generally trying to avoid the whole coloring aspect of Rose Art Color Blank Figures. It seemed to work out for the best that way. I've decided to call this snowman Chip, because he appears to be particularly cheery. Then again, I am not so sure if I have ever meet a snowman who isn't having a wonderful time. Chip the Snowman turned into an alright figure for what little time was given to him. The reindeer on the other hand, well... I am going to have some explaining to do on that one.

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This is the reindeer in his uncolored format. Its cute. Its inviting. It looks like it is going to be fun to color. And if you spent more time with it than I did there is a possibility that it could turn into something special. But not mine. Mine ended up looking like a pile of neon colored Christmas puke. It sort of makes me wonder just how many of these Color Blank figures end up living out these same results. Lets face facts here the number of us non-artists far outweigh the folk who can actually draw. Color Blanks are packaged in a way that make them seem like everyone can enjoy them. Instead they should come with a gigantic warning label that says "yours will look like shit, trust us." Because this... I do not think is what Rose Art had in mind for this reindeer:

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You have all heard of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, am I correct? Well this is Rosa, the rock and roll reindeer. Some sort of distant cousin of Rudolph, twice removed through divorce. Rosa is very clearly a rock and roll reindeer judging by her off shade of neon red parachute pants and neon green tank top. She is wearing a bow tie because hopefully that will draw your attention away from the smeared stains of other colors in spots that they do not belong and the general un-ability of the artist to color within the provided spaces.

Rosa has many, many different issues. I would like to blame these results entirely on Rose Art and while it is worth mentioning that the markers don't exactly do the grandest of job covering the surface and the color selection leaves a little to be desired, this one is mostly on me. I went into this one with no prior planning and the results very clearly show that.

You know that part about waiting for each color to dry before you move on to the next. Yea, you should really wait for one color to dry before you move onto the next. Like, seriously give it twenty minutes dry time otherwise it just clings to your fingers and you'll end up with brown prints all over areas you plan on coloring green... which in turn smears together and everything just sort of escalates and goes downhill from there.

I would like to blame the kit. I really would. So I will. The markers are really pretty cheap and the tips are far to fat to fit into the little nooks and crannies of the blank figures. They don't give you enough colors and the provided stickers really leave you with some limited options. This, coupled with the unachievable expectations set by demonstration photographs on the front of the box make for a kit that would be really hard pressed to live up to expectations.

Of course even though these Color Blanks are popular with people of all ages, lets face the facts here they are mostly meant for kids. So assuming you do not run a website and purchase seasonal items with the intent of photographing and making humorous remakes about. Lets say you are eight years old, wild eyed and full of imagination, then Rose Art Color Blank Figures are probably going to be pretty awesome. Therefore in good faith, I cannot completely slam this set simply because I am retarded with a magic marker and failed to read instructions. If you have kids, chances are they will love this project and all of it short comings really won't matter.

3 comments:

  1. Love 'em, and I give you credit for even trying. I think I would walk right past these!

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  2. Haha. Thanks! I actually do like how the Snowman turned out. The reindeer on the other hand... not so much. Already in my "cabinet of shame" where such projects end up and are never spoken of again!

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  3. http://www.colorblanks.com/gallery.php

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