Wednesday, October 5, 2011

3-D Window Stickers!

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Every October I always make a point to stop into the Dollar Tree and have a look at crap they are selling for Halloween. And as much as I like that store lets not kid ourselves here, most of what they sell is crap. Useless. Cheap. Generic. Off-brand crap. And you know what... I love it. This is what makes the Dollar Tree such a fantastic invention. If you where to run into this stuff at any other store, you'd shun it to the side and scuff at the idea of purchasing. But here? In this environment? It becomes perfectly acceptable to fill an entire shopping cart full of  this generic bullshit.

Especially around Halloween time. If I may digress here for a minute, Halloween has really "grown up" over the past five to ten years. When I was a kid everything was much cheaper. I'm not just talking about price tags, but the overall quality of items sold was cheaper. With shittier build quality and not near as interesting to look at. Stores did not have huge sprawling sections dedicated to Halloween like they do today. You'd get one isle with candy and one isle with costumes and those cheap grease paint makeup kits and that's about it. I come from a time where you had to scourer every Mom & Pop drug store and supermarket within a sixteen mile radius just to find enough decorations to make your front porch look spooky.

These days Halloween has grown to near Christmas level proportions. You can now shop at only a few select stores and find far, far better items we ever could have hoped to find when I was a kid. With enough money you can purchase everything from life sized caskets to a pneumatic powered Exorcist bed. It is a fantastic time for anyone trying to decorate there house. As much as I love this, part of me still sort of misses the inherent cheap nature of decorations from years past.

Which brings us back full circle to the Dollar Tree. This store is like walking into a time machine from twenty years ago. The decorations are cheap and plentiful and they have a certain charm to them that their more expensive department store counterparts seem to lack. These 3-D Window Stickers remind me of something I would have had years ago and even though they are only $1.00 a piece, I think they are my favorite item of the 2011 Halloween Season!

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Vampire Guy is up first and you can already see why I enjoy these Window Stickers so much. I use the word "cheap" only to define the products price. The build quality is excellent as you can see all the highly crafted detail that's been jam packed into them. I am a big fan of the forehead veins. Not enough vampires have those sticking out of every square inch of there forehead. Either Vampire Guy is really angry or he just dropped a hammer on his toe. Either way, I do not want to mess with him. And while it is still up for debate just exactly how long they will stay stuck to my front door, I quite frankly do not care. They get a pass for just bringing it in the awesome department. Besides if they fall off that just gives me an excuse to re-commission them into something else. I like excuses that eventually lead to prop building.

Upon closer inspection you will see just how three dimensional these Window Stickers are. Every bit of detail you could possibly imagine is sticking up and out at all different depths and angles. I am especially found of just how pissed off Vampire Guy looks too. Make no mistake about it, this is not a Twilight inspired sparkly Vampire. This is an old school, rip your head off and drain your blood vampire. The kind you'd see in 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or... actually you know the more I look at Vampire Guy the more and more I am conviced that he is clearly inspired by Vincent Price from the old '13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo' cartoon show. Hmmmm. Alright lets take a look at the shows intro and see for ourselves if this vampire is Vincent Price reincarnated into a piece of plastic.

Yep. That is all the proof I need. Vampire Guy can now officially be renamed Vampire Vincent for being a  clear interpretation of Mr. Price from this short lived cartoon series. You know I am very tempted to migrate completely off topic and spend the next seventeen paragraphs chronicling why The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo is the greatest vaguely Halloween Themed cartoon ever created but I think we'll save that for a future Halloween Countdown entry. Instead we will move onto the second of the 3-D Window Stickers!

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Normally I feel like Vampire Vincent Price would be the clear cut winner of the group but... well looking at this three piece Evil Witch it would be tough to put her in anything other than first place. Do I or don't I? How about we call this one a tie and say that both Window Stickers are hands down the cheapest and most awesomenesesesesed thing you will be able to purchase this season. We might as well just Trick or Treat tomorrow and set our Christmas Trees up over the weekend, because I don't think anything is going to be able to top Vampire Vincent Price and Evil Witch this Halloween Season.

Ahem. Anyhow. Evil Witch does not quite have as strong of a color palate as Vampire Vincent Price and has decidedly less forehead veins. But she more than makes up for it in the hand department. Sort of winning by default because she is the only one who actually, you know, has them. But what a sight they are. Raze sharp fingernails poised on a hand that really makes good use of the cheap 3D effect. Evil Witch looks like she could jump right off the page and eat your eyeballs. Or at the very least steal them for herself, I say this because Evil Witch has some sort of glazed look over top of her own. Shes either really old or is suffering from severe cataracts. Either way this probably makes Evil Witch one crazy witch bitch. I do not think I could possibly agree with any one Halloween decoration more than I agree with this one right here. It is quite possible that I am in love with a $1.00 faux 3D window cling.

At this point I am very tempted to stick them on some window just to see what they look like in there natural environment. But knowing where I got them from, if they do manage to even stick at all this is going to be a one time, one shot deal. I have to make sure they are in the most proper and prominent spot. Then I must put them under twenty four hour surveillance for fear that someone might attempt to steal them and claim them as their own. I could not stand the thought of Vampire Vincent Price and Evil Witch living in someone elses home. These are mine! They are my precious! I was given to them for my birthday, I was! And you will not have them, you fat little hobbit!

1 comment:

  1. I love those! I didn't see them at my Dollar Tree, and I was just there. I may have to go back for a second look. Nice job once again, Kyle!