Now that we are all older, summer is no longer such a mystical time of year. When you reach a certain age responsibility kicks in and you realize that summer is basically the same routine as winter... only with better weather. We still have work. We still have bills. We are still have the same obligations as the rest of the year, only now we have to deal with mosquitoes. I will not lie, the root of my un-love for this time of year is clearly stemmed from my hatred for mosquitoes. I hate insects. Most of them frighten me, all of them annoy me. Especially the ones that try and steal my blood when I'm not looking and leave a nasty, itchy bump behind. It's all like a horrible night in Mexico where you accidentally drink the water, black out and wake up with some unknown rash on your penis. Mosquitoes. Flies. Centipedes. Ants. All insects that I hate and all things that come out during the summer months.
I'm not to fond of the extreme heat conditions either. If I may use an analogy to describe it, summer is sort of like that cousin you only see for a couple weeks a year that you really don't have anything in common with but since your obligated to be around him or her you try and make the best of things. At first everything seems fine and you sort of find common ground, then your cousin just tries way to hard to impress you and ends up making everything worse. All the while you just cannot wait for that person to get the hell out of your house. This is exactly what summer does in terms of weather conditions. It starts off just fine as everyone likes a nice seventy five degree summer day, but just like that cousin who tries to hard... summer gets the grand idea that if you like it warm, you'll love it when it gets really warm. Before you know it its ninety eight degrees outside and impossible to leave the house. Thanks a lot for that one summer, you remind me of Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch. This is not a good thing.
I complain, I know. I'm harsher than I should be on the season... but I cannot help it. And besides not everything is summers fault, it has some very stiff competition with both Halloween and Christmas showing up so close to one another. It's not summers fault that its lacking any of the really fun Holidays. Sure, it has the 4th of July... and who doesn't love blowing things up? But Halloween is Halloween and Christmas is Christmas and no amount of cheap sparklers will ever be able to compete with pumpkin carving and Santa Clause.Summer is lacking that IT factor that's present during October, November, and December. It's lacking themed isles, holiday specials, candy corn, and holiday music. Christmas stockings are fun. Candy corn is cool. Sweating profusely on a ninety degree summer day isn't.
With all of that out of the way, I will say it once again. I don't hate summer. It's just that summer doesn't compare with my real favorite time of the year. But since it's here, we are going to enjoy it as best we can. Summer has its fun qualities too. This time of year always brings about some new bizarre flavor of soda that nobody really drinks, but everyone pretends to enjoy. Fireworks are always fun no matter how old you are. And the Kool-Aid section of the store always seems to grow ten fold this time of year. There is plenty of positive to go along with everything that annoys me. Besides, if there is one thing I've come to learn about summer is that it will be over before you even realize its started.
In just a few short months, it will be that time of year again. My favorite time of year. It starts with Halloween's severed heads and Haunted Houses and ends with Santa Clause and Christmas Trees. I will try my best to resist the urge to listen to out of season holiday music and carve a pumpkin between now and then. We're going to at least try to give summer the proper respect that it deserves. But that's going to be tough to do because look what I got in the mail today...
|Merry Christmas from Clark Griswold!|
Crap. This summer thing is going to be harder than I thought.